Dear Merlin,
It’s been a long time old friend, long enough that i’ve accepted i’ll never see you again. But there is a druid seer here, who has promised to pass on this message for me, so I can only trust that this reaches you.
Camelot misses you still, we could have used your counsel, I could have used a friend.
I know of course, that should the need truly arise, you shall still protect my kingdom - Arthur’s kingdom - and you’ll never let harm befall these lands. For that I will always owe you, like I do for a million other things.
This isn’t the Queen writing to the sorcerer that saved us all though, it’s simply me, Gwen, writing to a friend that’s dearly missed.
And you are missed Merlin, because even in a kingdom that mourned its king, it feels only you would have truly shared my grief.
Or perhaps, it is arrogant of me to imagine I know your pain. After all, you loved him more than even I did, I’ve always known that at least.
In the hours Gaius and I would spend, speaking of you, he has shared with me all that you’ve done for us. And I should feel sad that I learned so much about you, only long after you were gone.
But in my heart, I still feel like i’ve known the things about you that mattered most, and that should count for something.
Still, consider this my attempt to redeem myself as your friend.
Merlin, you’re brave and kind and have always cared so deeply. You’ve been so selfless, that I cannot even hold against you the selfishness, that was your decision to never come back home.
But you have punished yourself long enough, don’t even pretend that is not what this is.
Arthur’s death was not your fault, and I know you did everything you could to try and save him.
You didn’t fail your destiny Merlin, you made him the king he was meant to be.
Albion has been united and there is peace in our lands again. You have both done what you were born to do.
Arthur and his knights will forever be remembered, and I’ve done my best for the people of this kingdom too. I have no regrets to carry with me, but the knowledge that you are alone dear friend.
So I beg of you, live again Merlin, whether you choose to do that in Camelot or whether you find a new home, it is time to forgive yourself.
And if you don’t do it for yourself, or for me, or for Gaius, then do this for him. After all, he was the love of your life like he was mine, but he was your soulmate too.
Do you believe then, that he would rest in peace when the other half of his soul suffers so?
Don’t waste the life he never got to live Merlin. And maybe someday, if there is a life after this, i’ll get to hear all about it.
But until then, this is goodbye.
Yours truly,
Gwen.
